Struggletown

You know how you see in movies where some major crisis happens and the main character ends up in the kitchen making really elaborate cakes as a way to deal slash not deal with said crisis? I used to think that was all shit until one generally all-round awesome girl/flatmate at uni used to do the same thing. We would come home from studying for some exam and there would be muffins and slices EVERYWHERE. And she would be all happy and content and relaxed by having finished a project unrelated to the things that were stressing her and I always used to be jealous that she could use baking as a coping mechanism. The things she would make were yum, too. Yum enough to make up for the time when she said it would be an awesome idea to make a pavlova by putting the meringue into a loaf tin and baking it. The outcome of that venture sat on the back lawn for the longest time, even the feral cats wouldn't eat it. You live, you learn, huh?

Anyway - things are not at crisis point but I really struggle to bake when stressed, because I swear to god all the ingredients can tell when you're pissed and apprehensive and not into it and they deliberately make it a horrible experience. This is true for me, anyway. Neenish tarts have had me in tears before. All like, what the fuck? Why are you all puffy, you're supposed to be a TART, that definitely wasn't self-raising flour...did I just put baking powder in there? I swear I didn't, whaaaaaaaaaaat WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

I don't like feeling as though my baking is just purposely trying to break my resolve.  I know that's why this has been a bit fail so far. When I finally can chill out, I swear to god this will be an actual thing and I will be baking and happy and I will look back on these posts and be all 'Hah hah, stupid girl. Aren't you glad to finally have your shit sorted?'

That's the plan anyway.

Perhaps the first actual entry can be "Rescue Remedy Cupcakes."

uggggggghhhhhhhhh